God knows my heart.  God knows that I love him with every inch of my body, but he also knows that at times I struggle with doubt.  I’ve struggled with doubt because of past trauma and experiences in my life, which inevitably seeps into my relationship with God.  What are we to do when those feelings of doubt creep in?  What are we to do when those questions start to sneak up?  We go to God.  Don’t keep it to yourself and don’t let it grow.  Instead, we renounce the lies, raise our questions to God and confess each thought.  God will show up for you, the same way he shows up for me.  

Let’s take a brief look at Abraham.  When God presented his covenant to Abraham, it’s not like Abraham didn’t have doubts.  I’d actually go as far to say that he probably had great doubt and questions. His wife, Sarah, was 90 years old and God was telling him that she was going to have a baby.  Yes, Sarah was 90 years old, so how would she have a baby?  God said, “I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her.  I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; king of peoples will come from her.” Genesis 17:16 This is the best part.  “Abraham fell facedown…” Fell facedown and… cried? Wept with joy? Praising God? No.  Abraham fell facedown and laughed.  “Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself “will a son be born to a man a hundred years old?  Will Sarah bear a child at the age of 90?” Genesis 17:17  The simple act of laughing probably hid a lot more feelings than just laughing.  His mere act of laughing showed that he was likely in shock, disbelief, doubt, and probably confusion as to how, why, when God would do this?  Doubting doesn’t equate to disbelief, but doubting can become disbelief if we don’t grab hold of it.  In doubt, we tend to think in the flesh and not in God’s power.  God knows we are going to doubt.  God knows we are prone to thinking in this world and not always thinking by his Spirit.  This is not a surprise to God.  It’s okay to have the feelings of doubt, but we can’t live in those feelings.  Instead of living in those feelings, we must confess those feelings to God and let him speak for himself.  Let his word teach, guide, and grow us from doubt to faith.  

Back to Abraham’s story.  So now Abraham knows God’s plan and while it’s hard to believe what God told him, we know that if God says it, it’ll come to fruition.  We are given the details again, that “Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing.” Genesis 18:11 But now it’s Sarah’s turn to hear God’s promise for them.  What was Sarah’s response?  “Sarah laughed to herself as she thought “after I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?” Genesis 18:12 I imagine we would all have a similar thought and response to God’s plan.  So Sarah responds as many of us do to God’s plans for our lives… she laughed.  How much doubt did that same moment of laughter carry?  The laughter behind both Sarah and Abraham shielded their doubt, fear, confusion, and disbelief.  We’ve all been there.  God is placing that call to your life and you wonder how? When? Why me? God holds room for the doubt.  He holds room for our questions.  We must face the doubt head on and let the Lord speak to us.  

These next few verses are good, so listen closely.  “Then the Lord said to Abraham, “why did Sarah laugh and say “will I really have a child now that I am old?” Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at this appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.”” Genesis 18:13-14 Crickets. This reminds me of Adam and Eve when they were hiding from God.  I’d probably want to hide from God at this moment when he calls you out for laughing at his plan.  “Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, “I did not laugh.” But he said, “Yes, you did laugh.”” Genesis 18:15  I have a hard time reading those verses out loud without laughing at the interaction.  We’ve all been Sarah! We don’t even have to verbally express our concerns to God because he already knows our thoughts.  This is why it’s so important for us to confess everything to God.  He already knows it anyway.  God’s call for our lives will likely seem out of reach, dare I say, impossible? But, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Gen. 18:13), “With human beings this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 When we see “impossible”, doubt often accompanies that.  It’s natural to doubt when we see the impossible, but we need to remember that nothing is hidden from God… “Knowing their thoughts” Matthew 9:4. God already knows your doubts.  We need to take those doubts and replace them with God’s truth.  We need to remember that when God promises something, it’s as good as done. Rather than looking at things from a fleshly perspective, we need to remember that the spirit of God is within us and we can do great things.  

I recently heard that our brains are designed to notice the things we focus on the most.  So if we are filling our minds with doubt, we’ll see doubt in every part of our life.  Instead, we need to shift our focus of doubt and replace it with God’s truth. Rather than doubting, we need to replace it with remembering.  When you doubt, remember God’s faithfulness.  How has he already come through for you when you didn’t think it was possible?  Where has he already redeemed your story?  What little miracles have you seen in your life?  In doubt, renounce the lies and replace them with God’s truth.  Instead of wrestling, we must rest in God. 

If you want to dive deeper… Below is a little exercise I’ve practiced myself and you can too.  This will help you remember to seek God’s word for truth.  

 

My Doubt: “I’m worried God doesn’t hear me”. 
God’s Truth: He hears us. 1 John 5:14-15

My Doubt: “I must be out of God’s forgiveness”.
God’s Truth: God forgives you. 1 John 1:9

My Doubt: “God must’ve made a mistake”.
God’s Truth: He knit us together. He formed us. He fearfully and wonderfully made us. Psalm 139:14-16