One of the most comforting things God continually says over and over again is to “not be afraid” or “do not fear”.  A specific line Jesus said that is engraved in me is, “Don’t be afraid, just believe” Mark 5:36.  This can be hard to put into practice.  As I read “don’t be afraid”, I realize I’ve been afraid my entire life and especially in my walk with God.  I’ve been let down by some important people and those past experiences have made me so afraid to be let down by Jesus too.  This will always be a hindrance if we allow our fear to override our faith.  

A lot of what I’m doing in life makes me afraid.  While I’d like to pretend as if fear isn’t present, it’s accompanied me in almost all that I do in my life.  I often find myself questioning what it is that I’m actually afraid of.  Well, I’m afraid that I may be hearing from God wrong, that maybe my closeness with him is simply not true.  I’m afraid that these tugs from the Holy Spirit could be my very own thoughts and not from Him.  I’m afraid of the constant noise we get from the world we live in.  I’m afraid that people are mocking me or making fun of my faith. I’m afraid of failing because for so long I’ve been hearing “I can’t” in my head.  I’m afraid of letting people down.  I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing. I’m afraid of being a bad mom.  I’m afraid of not being a good enough wife.  I’m afraid of choosing the wrong path.  I’m afraid that if I loosen this grip on my life, that I’ll lose it all.  

I’m afraid, but in that very same breath, Jesus tells me to “not be afraid”.  In that very same breath, Jesus says “for I am with you”.  In that very same breath, Jesus has a response to every single one of them.  In fact, God tells us to not be afraid approximately 365 times in the Bible, which can provide comfort and peace for every day of the year, since he knew fear would always find its way back in our minds. From the very beginning, God was reminding his people to not be afraid, because he already knew fear would be a constant “friend”.  In Genesis 15, God was making a covenant with Abram and placing this huge call on his life.  God, in knowing his thoughts, told him, “Do not be afraid, Abram.  I am your shield, your very great reward.” Genesis 15:1 God knows that our minds tend to go to fear first.  As I look back on the great heroes in the Bible, you see how so many of their initial responses to their calls resembled fear instead of faith.  That’s okay- that’s normal.  But this is why God is so kind, he knows that our natural tendency is inclined more towards fear when we don’t have a blueprint of how it’ll all happen.  This is exactly why God tells Abram to not be afraid, even before Abram has the chance to process his fear.  God knew from the beginning that fear would constantly creep up, but we aren’t to be afraid because God is our shield.  God will protect us from all kinds of outside and inside forces, so we are not to be afraid.  

In that same chapter, a few verses down it says “Abram believed the Lord and he credited it to him as righteousness.” Genesis 15:6 So this brings me back to what Jesus said in Mark, “Don’t’ be afraid, just believe”. Mark 5:36 The first time we see God saying “Don’t be afraid”, we also see Abrams’ response that he “believed the Lord”.  “Don’t be afraid, just believe”.  God knows our response will be fear, but our belief will increase our faith.  So while fear will likely present itself, our belief in God can and will override the fear and instead fuel our faith.  We need to just believe that God is who he says he is and he’ll do what he says he’ll do.  That’s what Abram did and God was faithful to him.  

Honestly, I think I’m afraid of Jesus’ closeness at times. I believe him with my whole heart, but God is making it so clear to me that I’m afraid that he doesn’t believe in me the way I believe in him.  My earthly father wasn’t able to show up for me the way I needed him to, so I occasionally associate that to my Heavenly Father.  While I believe God will come through, I don’t know if I believe I’m worthy enough for him to come through for me specifically.  I’m afraid to be disappointed in God and my fear has kept me tip toeing on the water.  I think I’m fully submerged in the deep, when really I’ve got one foot in the water and the rest of my body on the boat.  When Jesus tells me to “come”, I’m afraid I’ll drown.  My fear of being let down will always be a hindrance to my faith if I let that fear surpass my faith.  This is why Jesus doesn’t stop at “don’t be afraid”… he continues on with “just believe” because he knows the fear is real, but our belief in him needs to be greater.  God does love me. God does love you.  God will show up for you, even if it’s not exactly how you wanted him to show up for you.  God knows what’s best for us and we have to believe that. We have to believe in the sovereignty of God in all things, even when we’re afraid.  

Our wounds may be different, but our fear is very familiar.  If we choose fear over faith in Jesus, we’ll never really experience Jesus the way God intended us to.  In the Parable of the Bags of Gold, the man who was “afraid”, went out and hid the gold in the ground, instead of letting God move and multiply that gold.  “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground”. Matthew 25:24-25 The man was given gold and he put it in the ground, why? Because he was afraid.  His fear hindered any growth.  Our fear will keep us in the grave. Our fear will keep us at arms length.  The man buried the gold in the ground because he was afraid of losing it.  The man’s fear focused on self rather than Jesus’ ability to build wealth.  What if that man would’ve trusted himself and Jesus with the gold that God gave him?  Rather than hiding the gold, he could have multiplied it and shared it with others.  What if that man would have trusted in Jesus, rather than succumbing to the fear?  When we aren’t afraid, or better yet, even if we are afraid, we do it anyway.  We do it anyway, because we are doing it with the one who carries us through it all.  

As I pondered the thought about being afraid of being let down, Jesus reminded me that he is with me, he’s within me, he’s around me and near to me.  God is always close to us, but it’s us who add extra distance.  In starting my quiet time one morning, I said something different to Jesus before I began, I asked Him to be close to me that morning.  I asked Jesus to be with me, to draw close to me, to help me feel his nearness right here in this place.  Minutes later, I look out the window and see the most beautiful colors in the sky.  A pink-purple sky with yellow light shining through and it was truly incredible.  For those who think that’s coincidence, let me tell you that I wake up at the same time every day, with the same routine, in the same exact chair, looking out the same window each morning.  My routine didn’t change, but my prayer that morning did.  My prayer was genuine and expectant… I knew God was going to show up for me that morning… and he did moments later with that incredible sky and the overwhelming feeling of his presence.  God is near, but when we choose fear over faith, it’ll hinder his closeness.  We can be fearful that he won’t answer when we ask the prayer, but if we never ask it, how can he answer it?

God reminds us from the very beginning to not be afraid and God reminds us again at the very end.  “When I saw him, I fell at his feet as though dead. Then he placed his right hand on me and said, “Do not be afraid. I am the First and the Last. I am the Living One; I was dead and now look, I am alive for ever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades.” Revelation 1:17-18 Friend, I am very familiar with fear, but God is showing me how much greater it is to replace it with belief.  He wants this for you too.