As I was about to share a new post, I felt God say to me “what’s your why?”.  God placed this question on my heart… What’s my real reason for publishing that post? Why am I sharing it?  So immediately, I decided not to post and instead to linger in that thought (that lingering has lasted for over a week now).  What is my why?  Why am I even writing and sharing this part of my life (that to be honest, I’d rather keep to myself)…why? It’s been a few days and I’ve had to come back to this thought many times, but the song “Amazing Grace” started replaying in my mind.

 “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound.  That saved a wretch like me.  I once was lost, but now I’m found. Was blind, but now I see.”

That sums up so much of my why behind sharing what God’s teaching me.  I once was the lost sheep going astray, doing things that the world said to do, following what others were doing, numbing my flesh. I was once was the one, who thought god was “mean” and unfair for allowing the evil things to happen in the world.  I once was the one who wanted a relationship with God, but it seemed impossible and non-existent. I once was truly lost, but NOW I’m found. But now. I was once the 1 and now I’m with the 99.  I’m saved.  How can I not share?  So when I think of that simple, yet profound grace that God has gifted me… how can I not share the hidden treasure he’s given me?  I have a treasure map with a 100% guaranteed route to find the treasure… how do I not share that with the world?  Grace in abundance. Jesus offers grace in abundance and while life can be extremely difficult, he offers grace so freely and kindly and gives a peace and joy that no man could ever fill.  He’s our creator; God created us “in His image” and when that revelation kicks in, it starts to really change you- from the inside out.  

As some know and not know, there is a beautiful parable in which Jesus shares about a Shepherd leaving the 99 sheep he’s with, to go after the 1 sheep that got lost.  Jesus leaves the 99 for the 1 lost sheep and I was lost. Interpreting the parable, we see that Jesus leaves the 99 believers who already know who He is and already follow him, to go after the 1 who is lost and needs to be found.  He goes after the 1 who doesn’t know him and has wandered.  Lost, yet he wants to find us and bring us back.  Growing up, there were so many times that I called out to God, not knowing who God actually was or if he even heard me.  I was wandering for so long, looking for comforts and peace from the world, not realizing that he was the one that held it all.  We are in this world, filled with sin, hurt, pain, and disappointment because of the enemy and his schemes.  There is evil in this world, but Jesus has overcome the world.  Jesus made a way so that we can be in eternity with him forever.  This world is so temporary, yet it’s all a lot of us only see.  This is something the enemy wants for all of us- for us to believe that right here and right now is all we have… but that’s one of the scariest lies.  There is life after death, yet we wander and don’t realize the urgency in being found. We only see the temporary, paying little to no attention to the eternal. So much of my why is because I refuse to keep this treasure to myself. I refuse to allow any of my loved ones to leave this world without knowing the real love of Jesus and what he’s done for me and can do for you.

“Now the tax collectors and sinners were all gathering around to hear Jesus.  But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” Then Jesus told them this parable: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.  I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.’” 
Luke 15:1-7

I don’t ever want to ever be complacent with other people not going to heaven.  I never want to just live with the 99 and forget about the 1. I will always want to go after the 1, just as Jesus has taught me.  So I write because I once was the 1 and now get to experience the 99.  Put perfectly and simply, “I once was lost, but now I’m found”.  I’m found to find.  I wasn’t found so I can keep it to myself, I was found to help find more and bring more back to Jesus- the way God intended us to live… with him at the center of our lives.  I write because while every other thing in this world may disappoint us one time or another, God never will.  I’ve experienced a type of love the movies will never fully depict and no word could ever fully describe… so why would I not share that? What’s your why for either following Jesus or denying him? What’s holding you back from letting him into your heart?

To conclude this very choppy post, my why includes urgency.  When God asked me “what’s your why?”, there was urgency in it.  We are reminded in scripture that “the end is near” and while that was written thousands of years ago, all of scripture and modern day events are pointing to the fact that we are very much in the ends times and some say “The END of the END times”.  Fourth quarter. Time’s running out.  I realize the urgency sounds extreme, like a made up thing, but the Gospel is extreme.  Salvation is extremely important and extremely urgent… so I would almost question myself if I weren’t desiring to share with every person I could possibly share the Gospel with.  What does that reveal about my own heart if I’m more concerned about the judgement towards myself versus their life in either eternity with Jesus or the opposite? What does that reveal about my own character? So if God has placed this urgency in my heart, I’m compelled to share.  Like Paul said, “I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord has given me- the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace”. Acts 20:24

I truly feel like I’ve won the lottery, that far surpasses any earthy riches the world could offer. In all transparency, it would be easier and FAR more comfortable to keep this to myself, but Jesus often reminds me that we in following Him, we are called to be uncomfortable for the Gospel and to choose discomfort if it means salvation for another. I’m simply a vessel of his message in whatever way he allows me to be… and this blog has become a small vessel in his plan. So that’s my why. My why is to be a seed of the Gospel in someone else’s life- whether that seed is to deepen someone else’s love for Jesus even more or to simply place the name of Jesus in your mind… it’s a seed nonetheless and one in which I am honored to plant. Seeds were once planted in me, I was once the 1 lost sheep, but now I’m found… “rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” Colossians 2:7